


Snowflakes are Flowers that bloom in Winter

by 0akdown



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky is trying desperatley to be that adult, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Role Reversal, Steve is confused and hurt and needs an adult
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 14:03:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3813268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0akdown/pseuds/0akdown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if it wasn't Bucky that fell of the train that day? What if it would have been Steve? </p><p>James Buchanan Barnes, also known as ''The Winter Soldier'' is trying hard to forget that his best friend died because he couldn't save him, so he takes on a mission without further asking about it. That's where he has his first encounter with a legendary assasin who they call ''The Morningstar''. And Bucky has to painfully find out that that man isn't that much of a stranger to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Cold wind cutting into his face, his fingers numb on the handle, barely holding himself up, but still reaching desperately, extending his fingers like it would help him move just an inch closer. ''Steve! Take my hand!'' he yells over the howling of the wind and the loud whirring of the train engine. A tall, muscular blond figure below him, clenching on a handle that was already hanging off the cold metal of the trains outerside, screws creaking as they got pulled out of their holes. The mans face was visibly grimacing in fear and desperation, when he finally lifted one hand, trying to grab the other mans arm. Then suddenly, with one eardrumm-tearing screech, the handle was ripped out of itsholding, and the hand that was so close to his, jerked back. ''STEVE!'' The other man cries out, disbelief on his face, watching him fall into the white dephts, before he clung onto the railing with both hands, sobs shaking his body violently._

 

_Then the scene changes, he's sitting in a jet, his heart pounding in his ears. There's someone saying something over the intercom, the persons voice is panicked. ''James don't do this please you-'' ''Howard.'' The man sitting in the pilots seat interrupts, his knuckles white on the control column, cutting the person on the other line off. ''I-I have to do this.'' He swallows, his stoch turning upside down. ''No! No you don't, James please!'' ''I know I'm not Steve, Howard.'' He says, breathing heavily. ''But I will be the hero he could never be. For him.'' The man on the other line makes a pained noise, but he doesn't object. ''James- please promise one thing.'' Theres a short pause. ''Come back, will you, you still promised to show me all of the good corners of Brooklyn, the ones you don't see in the newspapers.'' The man gives a small laugh. It's forced and there is no real amusement in it. ''We would have to start at the old barber shop, the old man running it used to cut Steves and my hair for free when I cleaned the shop for him.'' He smiles, this time it's genuine. It's a small smile, but it's there. ''Yes, lets do that. Next weekend, don't you dare chicken out.'' The voice comes out of the intercom, the sentence seemed so normal, if it wasn't for the persons heavy voice. The man laughs again, faintly, but it wasn't faked. ''Did you forget who you're talking to? I would never-'' The intercom shuts off as the plane crashes into the ground._

 

_The scenery changes again, there are people trying to convince him that everything's okay, when nothing really is. Everything is in a blur, it's like another world. They tell him that he's still alive, that he woke up in the future, that he survived because the scientists in germany made his body like Steves, and he wants to acream that he isn't-couldn't ever be like Steve, he could never lve up to that. There is a man with an eyepatch that doesn't try to handle him with false care, that doesn't coat the harsh truth in sickeningly sweet honey. He tells him that the world needs hime, but they don't need James Buchanan Barnes, they need a self-sacrificing hero, something he never truly was, but he has to be now. They need the Winter Soldier._

 

James Buchanan Barnes awakes with a sharp gasp. He was sweating and panting and his head was killing him. He slowly sits up in his bed and grabs the alarm clock on the table to his right. 5 AM. ''Great.'' He thinks and grumbles. Swinging his feet over the edge of his bed he yawned loudly. He often got those nightmares, but they got worse after the battle of New York, and he hadn't slept a whole night in weeks. He stretches his arms and got up, since he wasn't going back to bed for sure, so he slumped into the bathroom. His apartment was rather small, but it was comfortable, and always thought that to be the most important anyways. He turned on the lamp in the bath and blinked a few times to accommodate to the newfound brightness. He looked at himself in the big mirror hung up over his sink. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, what actually pretty accurate, his chin-long brown hair falling into his face, and his jaw framed by a strong stubble. He didn't want to cut his hair, because he liked it better this way if he was honest. He took great care in keeping it clean though, not wanting to run around with greasy hair. He quickly shaved himself, since he looked rather intimidating, if not dangerous with the beard and his neutral expression. He hadn't really expressed any strong emotions, never once since he got out of the ice. Stark always made fun of that, saying 'most of his body might be unfrozen, but it seems like they forgot his face along the way'.

 

Not the original Stark of course, it was his son, Tony Stark to be exact. Bucky didn't see Howard ever again after his plane crushed. Car accident they say, tragic but nothing strange, Bucky wasn't sure if he could trust them. Peggy was still alive, that much he knew. He had already visited her in the retirement home, but she couldn't remember him. Not too shocking, she and Steve had a stronger bond anyways. He winced at the thought of Steve and cursed himself for bringing back the memories. He pushed himself away from the sink and went to the closet instead. He changed from his shorts and T-shirt into a pair of sweatpants and a fresh shirt. He hesitated a split second before putting on his running shoes. Running was never really his thing, but Steve had loved it once he had a newborn body that wouldn't almost suffocate him when he took more that a few hurried steps. He locked his apartment door behind him and jogged down the steps to the front door. He took a deep breath and opened it, hoping that there won't be any crazy monsters attacking today.


	2. Is that what you call running?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry for taking a bit longer on this, but I had trouble with the characterization. Luckily I was ready to write this after watching CA:TWS for another 32 times, so here it is! (Please remember that this is un-beta'd so all of the spelling and grammar mistakes are my fault and I apollogize in advance.)

His legs were always faster than he remembered. He still wasn't used to this whole ''Super-Soldier'' thing. Hell, he didn't even know he was one in the first place, that was always Steves job. His breath faltered and he cursed. Why did all his thoughts eventually lead to that? Bucky frowned and came to a stop. He ran his left hand through his hair that he had put up in a bun to stop it from falling into his eyes constantly, feeling the dampness from his sweat, and shook his head.

 

When they told him that he had been injected with the serum, well more like a bad rip-off of the serum, as well, he had tought they were kidding him. But they had all the examination results at hand to show him, and they had a pretty reasonable argument with saying that he couldn't have possibly survived the plane crash if his body wasn't somehow different than that of a normal human. Bucky sighed and took up a quick pace again.

 

It was then that he saw another figure jogging in front of him, probably going out for a run too. Bucky started going faster, feeling a little mischievous and passed the other man. ''S'cuse me coming through.'' He tweeted and grinned. The other man didn't seem very happy about it. Bucky had to keep a laugh to himself as he realized that the other man picked up a faster pace, presumably to get in front of him again. Bucky, of course, didn't let that happen, steadily going faster and faster, always leaving his competetor only a few steps behind him. They went on like that without saying a word, the huffs and grunts were enough conversation anyways, until the other man winced and came to a stop, desperately trying to get his breathing back to regular. He stumbled to the side and leaned against a ther, slowly sliding down to his knees.

 

Bucky slowed down too and walked over to the dark skinned man, barely holding back his smug cackling by now. ''You call that running?'' He challenged him. The man let out an offended huff and glared at him. ''It's not like you were much faster.'' He forced out between his hastily drawn breaths. ''Oh I could have been.'' Bucky defended himself. It was the truth, he could have gone a lot faster than that if he wanted, but his little competition against the other man seemed like a better way to pass time. ''Oh sure you could have.'' The man said, but he was grinning now. Bucky held out his hand, and the man gripped it (his grip was very firm, as Bucky noticed) and pulled himself up. ''Sam Wilson.''

 

The man offered. Bucky nodded ''Bucky Barnes.'' Sam raised his eyebrows. ''Really?'' He asked, somewhat surprised. Bucky opened his arms and cocked his head. ''The one and only.'' He responded. Sam knotted his eyebrows but then he shrugged. ''Oh well, it must've been a real shock for you when they pulled you out of the ice, I'm sure you miss the good old days, eh?'' Bucky tensed for a split second. No, he thought, I don't miss the old times, just one person that used to be there with me. But he smiled instead, even though it felt fake.

 

''Not really, I mean there are lots of great things in the 21st century.'' Sam seemed to be satisfied with that answer and went to say something else, when Buckys phone suddenly vibrated. He quickly pulled it out of his back pocket and checked who wrote the message. Turns out it was Natasha, informing him that he still had a job to do, regardless of how much he hated it. Bucky rolled his eyes and shot Sam an apologetic look. ''Sorry man, I gotta go, the job calls.'' He explains, shoulders dropping.

 

They heard the sound of an engine and turned to see Natasha pulling up in something that looked like an oddly modified black sports car. ''Hey boys, do you know where the Smithonians is? I'm herfe to pick up a fossil.'' She said with a perfectly straight face. Bucky gritted his teeth. ''Very funny.'' He replied, but opened the door to Natashas left. ''Hey.'' Sam grinned, cocking his head at the red-head. Bucky lifted his eyebrows. ''You can't run everywhere.'' He said with a mischievous grinn while the window was pulling up. ''No, no you can't.'' Sam laughs, shooting the car a mervelling look as it drove off.


End file.
